Here we go. Round two

One week down, two more to go! During this month I'm a counselor/music director for this church camp in the middle of Ohio. It's about an hour and a half away from where I live so not too bad. But unfortunately it's super hot and we have no ac, there have been many thunderstorms, and apparently, this week is supposed to be the most exhausting. Yayy. Last week was little kids week, from ages 6-11. Some of them were the cutests things on the face of the planet! Others, were quiet a handful lets say.... This week is J.O. (junior olympics) so all the kids (grades 5 to 12) do all sports stuff. I mean luckily i personally don't have to but still it's tiring. Luckily last night I got to spend the night at home so that was lovely! Ben if I was only there for less than a day. I hope this week is better. That's all I can say

pretty good.

these next few days are about to get a hella more interesting.
today: babysitting Cole at 3:30 (i.e. WORLDS CUTEST KID)
thursday: go over to graces to swim/tan, 7pm meet with a friend about church camp i will be counseling at and be the music director
friday: 2pm meet with Fr. Joe about church camp, then leave for SYLVANNIA for the weekend with BRITTANY!!! (you know, the new girl from the pictures)
STAY TILL SUNDAY morning (ehh) then leave to come home and visit my dad in the hospital

hes on his (hopefully) last round of chemo!

then LEAVE SUNDAY AFTERNOON to go to westerville for an ACDA [american choral directors association] conference where i'll get to stay with a really good friend, Ryan!

this week is turning out to be pretty good.

finals week

school is coming down to a close, and i'm pretty swamped with finals and my jury...but i wanted to take some time and post some lovely photos :)

the weekend before finals

trying to study for music history

still staying

laura before her last concert

YAY FRIENDS

this is brittany. she is new. but she is also hilarious and i love her. unfortunately i only  really became her friend these past two weeks. but luckily we have the next 3 years. more on her soon? i think yes.

going home on friday finally. 

it will get better?

decisions decisions decisions.

thats what lives all about. making them and learning to deal with the consequences.

i could have decided two days ago to go home for this long weekend, but instead, i choose to stay at OSU for a few reasons.

all these reasons seem dumb at this very point in time.

i just recently finished almost complete mental breakdown because i want to go home. i want to go home so bad it hurts. and it sucks that i choose to stay here, but being an adult sucks sometimes i guess.

although i am feeling this way now, have no fear, this weekend WILL get better. its like....my second to last weekend in my first year of college!

after all, grace is coming down this weekend :) and oh how i miss her!!

summer please!!

i have about 2 and a half weeks left till my summer break, and i can NOT wait!!
1. get out of this small, cramped dorm room
2. be with my family <3
3. make some money
     a. babysitting
     b. possibly working at a church camp with decent pay (finger crossed)
     c. babysitting even moreeeeeeee
4. going to mohican possibly?!?!?!!
5. getting tan!
6. coming back again in the fall as a sophomore, in my own apartment, taking a lot more of fun classes :) [corney i know...]
7. being publicity chair for ACDA [american choral directors of america] and getting to work with someone i really admire and idolize :))

and what really got me in the mood was reading this amazing blog!!!

CHECK IT OUT. YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT.

how to have the BEST summer ever

if you're already having your summer....you best be doing (some of) these things!!

happy birthday to michele!

happy birthday to michele!

her birthday was yesterday, and although it was somewhat uneventful, she finally got to open the present i made for her so many months ago over winter break, and i think she liked it a lot!

i didn't put any pictures up of it because sometimes when she's bored or procrastinating, id like to think she trys to find my blog and read it. but anyway heres a picture of what i made :)

couldda turned out better but whatcha gonna do.

she liked it

thats all that matters

her birthday party will be this weekend. yay for birthdays!

God is good.

karma.
now i do not know the exact definition of this word, but i do know some things about this word. some people put a lot of belief into this word. they think it will deterime everything in their life. karma is their destiny.
karma has been known to me as "what comes around goes around".
karma is "good things happen to good people, and not so good things happen to not so good people".

i dont believe in karma.
i cant let myself believe in karma, for if i did, that would mean that there are a lot more bad people in this world than good. that my friends and family members must have done some terrible things to have such hard lives thrusted upon them.

no. karma cant be real.

it cant be. it just doesnt make sense.

these past few weeks have been really hard on me and my family. my dad found out that hes not going to be in chemo for about 10-15 weeks, itll be till the end of september. 5 sessions of 5 weeks. he just finished the first session. that means 20 more weeks.

why did this happen, how could this be happening? i keep asking myself this, how could this horrible horrible disease be my dad's , my dad's cross to bare.



well thats isnt it?


his cross to bare.

i know a lot of people out there dont believe in God, or religion, or anything like that. and i feel bad for you and i pray for you, because honestly, in times like these, God and prayer are the only things that are constant in my life. my dad is my life. but God is life. without faith i dont know how i would have the strength to even get up in the morning. to go to class. to put on a smiling face. to do my homework. to do anything, even blog about things.

this is why i havent blogged in a while, i know pretty deep.

my dad has barely sick a day in his life. i thought the hard part would be over, when its only really begun.

i know my dad is getting through this thanks to his positive attitude and faith in God, and i can only follow in his footsteps.

i guess this post can be summed up in 3 words.

God is good.

yet another one

let me start out by saying i am not sorry for anything that i have ever posted.

i am not sorry if people find out how i feel about them through this blog.

i am not sorry if i offend people when writing in my blog.

I'm sorry if people thing I'm looking for a pity fest.

cause none of that is me. if you don't like my blog, or its too depressing there is one solution.

don't read it.

plain and simple.




heres a tip for all you youngins:

if you buy alcohol for someone and "lose the money" [i.e. you give the money to someone to pay that someone back but then they lose it miraculously], just pay them back. not try and "pay them back" in alcohol unless  you just give them a water bottle full. because enough will never be "enough".
you will never pay them back enough money.


college is stupid. people in college are stupid.

here we go.

I'm giving up on BEDA. its obviously a lost cause.

as if you all didn't know that already...

i started watching grey's anatomy recently. its actually quiet interesting, and I'm really hooked since i started watching it from the beginning. thank youuu netflix.

i have had a ton of homework this past week/weekend. luckily i could distract myself very easily being home, hanging out with the family, going to tons and tons of church (I'm Orthodox and we just had our easter [Pascha] today!) and doing other nonsense things. unfortunately my math homework is hard. and my theory homework will probably take a long time. so what am i doing now? BLOGGING yesssss.

i have noticedd, in regards to the previous paragraph, that when i have a lot to do and become very stressed (did i mention i was very stressed this weekend? well i was. very much.) i become a nail biter. now when i was younger i had bit my nails a lot and yes its a bad habit blah blah blahhh. and i usually don't but i started noticing lately that i have been more and more when I'm about to go home or when I'm at home. it could be because of all the stress with my dad, or my sister, or this crazy quarter i am having. i don't know. but i do know i dislike it.

GOING ON WITH THE SAME IDEA OF THE LAST PARAGRAPH......

when i left for this weekend, i made my bed super neat and put things away and cleaned stuff up and like even swept my area of the floor. so what did i find when i came back? there was juice [alcohol] spilled under my desk , my posters by met bed were folded up along the edges, like someone was sitting against them like a crazy person, and my pillows. someone messed with my pillows. now i don't wanna sound like an anal bitch but seriously. if you're going to lay on someones bed, at least make sure you try and put stuff back where you find it. i mean it is blatantly not how i left it. oh and i just noticed, my desk in pushed away from my bed. awesome.  now obviously i don't expect laura to sit around and do nothing while I'm gone. but i mean she has a desk. she has her own area. what the heck.

along with all this....as i am trying to do my homework, they all walk in here while I'm "doing my homework" thanks guys....

pissed off. obviously.

lets be realistic here...

it is april 9th. i am officially failing at BEDA. i think ill just try and go with BEWA (blog every week in april). whenever i sign on i always think "hmm i'll blog right after i do this thing I'm about to do..." and then i never do.

so here i am, procrastinating my bio assignment, dreading going to math at 730, to blog

you all should feel so loved.

i wish i blogged more often, cause then it wouldn't be weird if i told you all about LAST weekend. you know, the one where i got super drunk and practically made out with a friend. how that friend is kinda seeing a girl that i know. (I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE OBVIOUSLY). how that girl deleted me on Facebook without talking to me about it (AGAIN, SUPER DRUNK). but also how that guy and myself are kinda pretending like that didn't happen, but also talking some more too.

are you confused?

good. me too.

back to my homework :/ maybe blogging more soon? yes?? maybe?

realistically maybe not for a few days...

I am failing miserably with BEDA. And it is 1:33 in the morning while I lie in. Ed on my iPhone blogging. I have 3, yes, 3 quizzes tomorrow, plus a voice lesson I'm kind of nervous about. Things have just been crazy busy. I hope to write soon of my weekend and possibly my classes.


If I post twice in one day, can that count as blogging for a different day?

Can this post count as April 3rds? Cause techniquilly I haven't gone to bed yet....

and so it begins....

BEDA.
blog. every. day. (in) april.

so we meet again.

BEDA and i really have a love-hate relationship really.

sometimes its like YES. an excuse to actually blog EVERY DAY!
but sometimes i have nothing to be said so i just write about nonsense.

today i have something to write about

HOORAY!

I'm apart of a little ensemble brought together by a freshman composition major (who is also my friend). he wrote this piece called "Epiphany in a Smile" and although we didn't get to sing through it today, we really dug into the meaning of this poem and the message he as the composer and poet was trying to convey.

Epiphany in a Smile

Light from your smile

for the briefest of moments

illuminates those shadows over which we toil.

like the smell of autumn air

and the lilt of a forgotten phrase,

it frees me, 

but for an instant, 

from those unbreakable chains

within us all.

at first i was like "whipdeedoo a love poem"

but then after reading it a second and third time i realized that its not a love poem, well not really. we all discussed it and came to the conclusion that no one will really know the meaning of life, or the key to being happy, or other philosophical things like that. but one the we do know is that in one split second, when you're with a friend, a significant other, anyone that you love, when you see them smile, if only for a second, you know. you know why you're here and why everything is happening. they make you safe and warm. something so simple, but also, so powerful.

this poem can have many different meanings i suppose, but i like this one. i particularly like this song because it reminds me of my father. after his first few rounds of chemo, even though he was feeling pretty off, he knew how to still enjoy life and make the best out of it. after his surgery, though, his smile was different. not the once perfect smile that i have been growing up with. its not the smile i remember for a child. its different now. a little off-balance, missing teeth, lips misshapen. but even though he may not look the same, his smile still feels the same. and i know that once he finishes his 10-15 week round of chemo, it will still feel the same. 

i've been struggling with a lot of whats been happening with my dad, but this poem really has opened my eyes. its still hard sometimes when I'm with him to not see the same face. but remembering how it makes me feel....well thats love isn't it?

my own room....

having a room to myself next years is probably the thing to which I am probably most looking forward. i mean i love you laura, but boy, how i'd love to have my own room right now. no one randomly barging in while you're in the middle something, no ones friends being all up in your business, just a place to go and be ALONEE.

tonight i had a night where i was generally alone for the most part. but theres always that possibility that becca might forget something or need to come in or, heaven forbid, actually try and have a conversation with me. sometimes i just can't stand it.

times like tonight are when i wish i had my own room.

when you just wanna have a good cry but can't. you can't because theres a possibility that someone might come in or someone might want to talk to you and you can't start crying cause if you do, you'll be indecent. you'd make the other person uncomfortable and there would be a whole ordeal made out of the entire thing. no one wants that. but sometimes thats what happens. thankfully, that did not happen tonight.

though if it did, i suppose it wouldn't be the end of the world.....

i adore this song

Joe

it has come to my attention that my friend Joe is reading my blog.

the rules to blogging/ the reading of blogs should be that of fight club....or at least some of them...

      the first rule of blogs, you do not talk about blogs.
      the second rule of blogs, you do NOT talk about blogs.
     (skip a few rules that have nothing to do with blogs but rather fighting.....)
     the seventh rule of blogs, blogs will go on as long as they have to.

i'd say those are pretty good rules if i do say so myself....which i just did....

heres some facts about joe.

1. he lives on third floor of baker west

2. he's from boston

3. he plays cello (heres him playing le cello)

4.joe was a cute baby

5. joe was a somewhat scary child

6. joe likes to Skype with his friends... :)

...and likes to make funny faces...

...and be a creeper...

...and fall asleep whilst skyping.

7. joe likes to sleep....kinda a lot actually. especially during class

8. joe has let laura and me shave his facial hair

9. joe is a music major, studying criminology, and is also in the ROTC

10. joe is probably one of the most friendly people i have met here at osu and I'm super glad i got to meet. he has one of the biggest hearts and will do great things in life.

11. joe can fix my laptop (i hope!!)

all i wanted was the octane....

i have, indeed, jumped on the apple train and have purchased an iPhone. now don't go crazy, its only the 4, not the 4s....and it all started with me need a new phone. I'm not too proud of this decision....i always told myself id never get one...all i wanted was the Octane, but they were out of stock...but all the other upgrades available for my phone weren't that impressive (even the slightest) and  to get an android would actually have been more expensive than this. i ordered 2 cute cases off amazon (on account of the fact that i couldn't pick just one) but they aren't coming for a while....so i got this other case. i honestly wish i hadn't bought them cause i like this one plenty. maybe i can sell them online or something..........

speaking of which i have tons of random nicknacks and possibly even some clothes that i'd be willing to sell. idk...being in college has really put into perspective what i need and what i use and what i absolutely won't ever use again. but a lot of the stuff I'm having trouble getting rid of has a lot of sentimental value. boooooooooo. ebay seems like wayy too much effort....possibly craigslist would be easier? hmm....

you can't tell but i've been writing this post in weird bursts....im too enthralled with these pictures that popped up...of my ex boyfriend from forever ago....kinda looks like a creep. which makes me feel awesome. am i terrible?

so far this post has been just bs-ing about the why i really should be writing.....my dad went to the doctor today.after surgery, they did more tests and were hoping for 90% necrosis or something like that among his cells....turns out he was only at 50%. we assumed they'd just do chemo, like they'd done before the surgery and things would go along as they were. wrong. instead, he's going to be getting some pretty intense meds. its some kinda of chemo medication thats low on stock and kinda rare right now, they have to import it from england and elsewhere. they're going to do an intense 10 week program of this stuff. so maybe, if things go well and he's healthy (enough) for it, he'll be done in june cause they're starting april 2nd. hopefully he'll be done by june. i know this is all in God's hands, but this is some pretty heavy stuff to deal with. Thankfully I'm home right now and I'm trying to enjoy my dads company while he's still healthy. we're going to the zoo tomorrow.

waiting for BEDA

i honestly cannot wait till it is april.
you know what that means?
BEDA.
awww yeahhh.

I'm really only excited cause i want to blog every day or at least when things happen in my life....but then at the end of the day.....i just don't cause I'm too lazy. but BEDA gives me something to look forward to...i.e. sharing my life with the whole 3.4 people who read this. YAYY.

i need to find my pokemon games....

lets take a gander at this list and see what has and hasn't been accomplished.

1. blog more. ehhhhhhhh
2. finish Mockingjay, the third book in the Hunger Games series. thank youuu laura.
3. upload pictures from my camera onto mu computer
1. deleting the horrid ones
2. possibly putting some on the Facebook. (ambitious, i know)
4. clean up my laptop (folders/tabs/wallpapers)
5. empty my trash i did this....but it is already full again, from cleaning my room...
6. go to office hours with my counselor
7. watch pretty little liars!
8. retype some of my posters what does this even mean..................
9. play my uku more.
10. drink more water

so the one thing that probably matters the most, number 6, i have failed to do. theres always next quarter.......

anyway I'm going to talk about the hunger games series. these pictures pretty much some up my experience reading these books.

ehhh....okay i see what you're doing.

really. really?

ehh turned out a-okay in the end.

i don't want to ruin anything for anyone who is thinking of still reading these, but i will say this, in the first book (especially) she makes it so you want to keep reading. correction, you HAVE to keep reading. and i personally don't like that about these books. can't wait to see the movie premier with my sister, grace, aaron and michele. yay! 

it is finals week. only 3 more dayyss and life will be good

to-do list or rather....wish-to-do list

its the week before finals....i have only a few things that i wish i could accomplish with my life before finals start....

1. blog more. (check?)
2. finish Mockingjay, the third book in the Hunger Games series. thank youuu laura.
3. upload pictures from my camera onto my computer
1. deleting the horrid ones
2. possibly putting some on the Facebook. (ambitious, i know)
4. clean up my laptop (folders/tabs/wallpapers)
5. empty my trash
6. go to office hours with my counselor
7. watch pretty little liars!
8. retype some of my posters
9. play my uku more.
10. drink more water

some of these might make sense, others might just be things i need to better in all of times (like drinking da water)

i do have things about which i would like to talk, but seeing as this is a blog saying i want to blog more, i simply cannot do that. 

heres a funny picture.

many things crammed into one post

i made the mistake yesterday of showing my friend my blog. luckily i hadn't said anything bad about her. unfortunately i mentioned that i may or may not have "missed"her over winter break a while back.

her name is michele.

we look like this together. lately a lot of people have been asking us if we went to high school together. the answer is no. we did not. is it so weird that two people instantly 'click' when they first meet? no! is that the case for michele and me? again, no.

see we had a mutual friend, Angel. keyword-HAD. he is no longer our friend, nor lauras, no beccas. he is not a good friend, hence the not being friends with him part. i have posted a picture and talked about him in this blog post from earlier.

note to self blog post 

if you care for a picture of him...click da link.

michele on the other hand is a good friend, minus the abusing me, and minus the whole loving cats thing. other than that she's pretty alright. we get along. hang out a lot. have similar interests.  the whole nine yards.

i discovered a new guy on the youtube....he is honestly hilarious, plus SUPER hot. 

"Make a Video About It"

his name is Jimmy Tatro. 

check him outtt.

my camera is back from Japan! a few months ago i noticed my lens cover thing was dented, and then my camera wouldn't open all the way since i still have insurance we sent it in to get fixed. it is now fixed....yay! debby downer.....the button you press to actually take a picture used to be super smooth and easy to press. now it is super sticky or something.....not ideal, but it'll do. plus right this second my memory card won't come out. kinda disappointing.

side-note: i know this is kinda gross, but its a nervous habit. the biting of the nails is still happening. unpleasant as one might assume. 

lent. boo. i am really going to try to not have any meat this lent. it will be hard but i will prevail. also by the end of lent i hope to reduce my swearing to almost none. its kinda hard now, but giving up swearing for lent is probably what i really need right now. i don't feel right when i swear all the time, and lent is to make you focus on what really matters. 

finally got my memory card out. unfortunately, yet again, i failed to remember that my computer does not read my cameras memory card so i need the chord to hook it up. i have many pictures to be uploaded. this will take years to blog about

my roommate laura, who I'm fairly certain you all are familiar with, is making me read "The Hunger Games". the movie is to come out soon. i conversed about this book with my mom and sister. like everyone else in the world, my sister thoroughly enjoyed these books. my mom, on the other hand, did not. she couldn't even get into them. so  heres my dilemma. i saw the trailer for the movie; looks fabulous. read the back of the book for a little "sneak preview" if you will; sound dumb dumb dumb. i understand its a made up story so its gonna sound a little funky...but really? fighting to the death? i don't know.....
plus lately i've only been really reading true stories (SPEAKING OF WHICH----finished the glass castle; great book, great ending, all around, I'm really happy i finished it), nonfiction work. so this made-up fairy tale doesn't really seem to toot my horn right about now. but I'm going to give it a go... btw i am procrastinating reading this book right now by blogging. hence the super long post :) i just feel like if i pick out a book i really wanna read, I'm gonna read it and enjoy it. but if someone tells me i "have" to read it or i "should" or if its even an assigned book, its gonna detour me from reading it. i told laura she "best back off" so i can have my space to read. so far, not working out so well....i'll keep you updated as to how it goes.



last part will be short



my father is doing well. the swelling has gone down significantly, he's walking, being fed through a feeding tube, and talking is getting easier. who knows, maybe he'll get to go home early. speaking of which, I'm going home again this coming weekend. this is exactly what i need. i miss not being home.

drunken blogs

one might say i am drunk.

i mean. it is 12:20 sunday morning/ saturday night.

and i may have been drinking...but i mean....what are ya gonna do.

laura went home. she is sick and wants to get rest. I'm going to a party with michele.

one should not blog whilst drunk. not a great idea. i feel like i might say silly things.

I'm listening to foo fighters.

you should too.

why thank you, hormones, now is a perfect time to get my period. when im already super emotional....

my dads big day.

this days has been long.
we woke up at 4:30, after about maybe 4 hours of sleep.
we left at 5:15 and got at the hospital at 6.
they took him right away, but we got to see him around 7:30.
they gave him some twilightish stuff around 8:25 and wheeled him away.
we didn't see him again until around 9:15 this evening
LONGGG day.
luckily our aunt came to break up the day, as did a good family friend ellen.
lots of people were texting us all, checking up to make sure things were going well.
we really appreciate all the love and support.

this is the first time in my life that i honestly wish i didn't have to leave this place. i miss being home, and i miss not being here for such important, hard times in my family's life.

i would say more but I'm just too exhausted and completely unthrilled to be going back to school tomorrow. my spirits are high for my dad, but my mood is somber i guess one might say.

love you dad

august 2009

a talent is born

i used to bite my nails when i was younger.

now i think i just bite my nails when I'm nervous or stressed.

needless to say my nails have seen better days.

i just bit my nails.
what the heck is wrong with me.
i will regret this.

i feel like Shel Silverstein, writing all these haikus.

here we go.

tomorrow is my dads surgery.

he has to be there at 6, and we are leaving at 5:15.

im super jittery, and i feel like I'm on the verge of crying every minute.

2 days at home is not enough time.

crazy nonsensical things. do not read....you have been warned

its kinda hard to write a blog when you're in the middle of watching family guy.

but i've been meaning to for a while so here we are.

for the most park...this weekend was pretty okay....but then saturday came around.
**for a summary of all this jump down to the **
i had a concert that kept me busy from around 330 to 1015. laura and i made plans (again) to go to a party, but the party fell through. i assumed that meant that we would hang out cause the night before she said she wanted to. just as i was about to get back to baker though, she texted me saying she was going to a frat party with a friend from work.

YES THIS SOUNDS BITCHY AGAIN AND ITS SUPER ANNOYING BUT IT HAS A POINT I HOPE.

it occurred to me yesterday that this is not me. this whole being pushed around almost kind of attitude and being "taken for granted" if you will. or maybe it is. whatever the case...i've only recently noticed and cared so much because i shouldn't be alone during this time in my life.

my dad is getting surgery this week on his face to remove his cancerous tumor. we don't know what the outcome will be. i mean sure he'll be fine, probably a little groggy for a few days and has to spend 10 days in the hospital, but he'll be good. but i mean, things are completely different now. right now my dad is not himself, and in a way, i'm not myself either.

**i guess what i'm trying to say is this is a really hard time for me and my family right now, and it sucks i'm not home. the least that my friends could be doing is to be there for me and help keep my mind off things. i mean, true, i don't always show how i'm feeling....so how would they know? but talking about it is hard....LOSE/LOSE situation right here.

this made more sense when i was in bed last night thinking about it. i was gonna blog....but decided to wait.

you see the outcome of this.

on a lighter note...osu memes are funny....

hopefully i don't sound too bitchy...

kind of a rough night.  not in the way you might be thinking....alcohol was not involved..well for the main part that actually matters.

i mean i might just be acting like a little whiny girl right now, i don't know. but i think i should make kinda like a pro-con/good-bad list of what has just happened tonight...

in chronological order how about

1. woke up late and showered
2. ate lunch at the union 
1. with justin
2. ambria
3. and ana (so fun people)
3. got to talk on Facebook with my friend michele whom i miss, and haven't seen since friday. barely.
4. went to a french horn recital
1. but laura decided she didn't want to sit where i wanted and totally ditched me
2. listened to fabulous music
3. got to converse with some other friends
5. watch an episode of how i met your mother
1. the slutty pumpkin returns (in case you were wondering)
6. had plans to go to dinner with benji
1. he never texted me when to eat so i gave up on that
7. played ukulele with aaron 
8. ate delicious rame noodles. fancy high class shit i know.
1. burnt my tongue
9. watched hilarious videos of mostly spongebob
1. like this one
10. thought i had plans to go out with laura
1. turns out there were plans and that some people were going out but since there wasn't enough room in the car he girl taking her didn't think i could go. she asked laura "if veronica can't come do you still want to go?" and laura responded " no cause that would mean."
2. i told her it was alright so she went out and finished putting my make up on.
11. went to visit a friend trevion and leland the next building over
1. haven't seen them in a while outside of class
2. leland gave me a salt and vinegar chip. eww.
3. trevion left and didn't come back and ended up was just at the front desk the whole time
4. watched terribly unfunny shows that i don't understand how anyone would watch them
12. saw a friend while walking that i haven't seen in forever
1. literally the nicest kid ever.
13. came back to baker
14. played more ukulele while aaron messed around on his computer
15. he introduced me to this hilarious women who makes the best videos
1. heres one thats particularly enjoyably
16. came to my room and I'm writing this post.
1. haven't posted in forever.

the only thing that really pretty much set me off was #10 section 1. "cause that would be mean."......this is not longer elementary school.. if you want to go to a party, say that out loud. if you feel bad for not bringing a friend, either don't go or find a way to bring the friend,otherwise you really don't feel that bad. and obviously if you wanted to make sure your friend was going, you'd say something along the lines that you want to hang out with that person, not just cause if you do go to the party and blow the other person off...thatd be "mean" 

i have no idea if that made any sense to you, but thats okay.

my pro and con list can be deciphered at your own risk. did i have a good night tonight? or should i keep bitching?

I'm personally glad with the direction this blog has taken me. it feels as more like more of a bitch fest for me, which might not be particularly enjoyable for you, le reader, but its what really helps me get through some stuff. its almost like my own alone time. i just zone out of the world and living with two other people and just finally get to talk about me. God how i miss being alone.

i feel like i need to express myself somehow other than just gossiping a little with a friend here and there, otherwise it might just get all bottled up inside and i don't want to fight with laura over something little.

it might also be because i feel guilty not talking to danielle in literally weeks. being disconnected from your bestie is pretty rough, especially when they live 2849043899345657685 miles away to begin with.

ps. lent starts soon. shits about to get real.  Blog erday during lent? maybe??

pinterest

why is pinterest  so freaking addictive??

i mean, yeah its totally awesome and i can find things....oh so many things in which i love, want or need.  but it takes up so much of my time!! erk!

the only bad side about pinterest....i get so used to liking things and then being able to see them later that i forget that on sites like...oh idk...facebook, when you like something then you cannot see them again :( boo.

i just slammed my thumb into my drawer trying to save piece of gum from michele.

it doesn't look like much, but it hurts to press the space bar with it. and its my right thumb. boo you michele.

life is good.

its true. it is good, it was good, and it will always be good to me.

since last i have written my dad has shaved his head. it was kinda tough not being able to be there, but luckily the weekend after i went home. boy does my dad look funny. but he's a trooper. after the first round of chemo, he had to take a few days off of work to recover, but then was able to do some small, easier tasks (not involving lifting a million heavy packages).unfortunately after this round of chemo, it hit him harder. he couldn't go to work because he could barely do anything without getting exhausted. literally not even 2 months ago, when someone would come home with groceries, my dad would be the first to help bring them in, and bring in about 5 bags at a time mind you EASILY. now he can barely go outside without getting tired, or put things away in the fridge. i literally watched my dad wear himself out moving the milk and lettuce around in the fridge to make it all fit. when he was done, he layer down on the floor to even catch his breath. i know all this is killing him that he can't do more, but soon it will pass.

he even was surprised that sunday when he went outside. "back in the day" he would be the first to know what the temperature was like. now, at 5 in the afternoon, he wasn't even prepared for how cold it was. i heard him say "oh wow!". my dad isn't the kind of guy who finds out the weather at 5 pm. but for now, i suppose he is.

but God is good, and so is what's ahead in this journey through our lives.

the other night we had a lot of people in our room having a good time....this is my reaction to all the photos i found that we took, in the morning

terrified and confused.

tonight though laura and i made an awesome thing for our new apartment :) which by the way...we did purchase and is ours :D yay!

anyway she told me not to post any pictures till it was done....on Facebook :) sneakkyyy i know....

this isn't the finished project but this is what i took on my computerr...more to come later

backwards yess. still unskilled with my camera usage on this laptop. 

lauronica (laura and veronica)

creative. i know.

half way there!!!

more to come soon!!

LAST THING! i read a book :) it's really helped me with a lot and its overall a great book. heres a link to the website cause i have enough pictures on here.....its called Heaven is For Real. CHECK IT OUTTT

i didnt thinking coming back to osu after a weekend at home would have so much drama

Don't for a minute change the place you're in

i love when someone starts a blog. you get to hear all about that person, but in a new light. so thank you (you know who you are) for starting a blog. i can't wait to keep reading :)


these past week or so i've been the most moody i have ever been, and i dislike it. a lot. i didn't think i'd be affect by everything going with my life so much, but i have, and with all my homework, the late nights, not much sleep, not gross-but undesirable food here, i've just gone crazy(ish) and kinda have taken it out on some of my really good friends. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!


anyway my dad started his second round of chemo, and just in time. my brother and my sister both have gotten sick with the flu! good thing he has gotten out of the house and way from those sickos....i just hope when i go home this weekend i'll get him sick.


laura and my apartment hunting is finally coming to a close i think!! we found a place we really like and are trying to get some signatures then pay for it! yay!

i'm really into this song right now.

its almost exactly how i feel sometimes. 

"Don't for a minute change the place you're in"

plus i love john mayer's music.

pinterest is the best. check it out. WARNING: you will get addicted.

boo bad attitudes.

my dad has cancer.

i know he's doing fine and still has his hair (for now) but its still rough.

never in a million years did i think my dad, my dad, would ever get cancer. he's like super man. i know this is cheesy and lots of kids think that about their parents, but in all reality he is. he can do literally anything you ask of him, except maybe helping you put on a bracelet or necklace; his fingers are too big for the clasp!

i was just home not even 3 weeks ago and i feel bad i haven't been home yet. i had an opportunity to go home this past weekend cause its a long weekend, but i didn't take it. i mean i was just home the weekend before. but now i realize maybe i should have. next weekend i can't because glee has a concert at a church on sunday.

i know my dad doesn't mind I'm not home, he knows I'm learning a lot and having a good time, i just sometimes wish things could go back to the way they were....

before i knew all my friends here, before i knew where i was living, before i knew how tasty panini's are at the union, before i got accepted to OSU, before i even applied! i wish i could go back to the days when i was a little kid, just running around the house with my dad.the days when my dad actually stayed up later than i did, watching tv, laughing when i was in bed.  times were so simple then....

and to top all this off, everyone has been in a weird mood all weekend, putting me in a funk. boo bad attitudes.

living da life

college is kicking ass. in both senses of the word

i love it so much. my choirs are awesome, my roommates are fun, my floor is good. my RA is da shit. i'm making tons of friends, my bed is comfy. so much to love.

what not to love-lack of sleep and a shit ton of homework. this quarter it just sprung on me, and its ridiculous. our professors are trying a new way of teaching and its just causing more work for everyone and more time consuming and I'm  not getting anything out of it.

I'm taking this class, International Phonetic Alphabet or IPA, and that is a crap load of homework all the time. i have to take notes everyday, even though i have this class every other day. its pretty rough. but probably one of the most interesting classes i've had in a long time, and mind you i took british literature in high school...so thats saying a lot (NOT)

getting punched in the boob is not fun.

growing up.

recently i have "discovered" that i am allergic to rum. so far its only spiced or dark rum, but i've seen an allergist and all signs point to yes. i am indeed allergic to rum. so yesterday i tried a controlled experiment involving kahlua. it wasn't going to be an experiment, but once i realized i was going to be having a problem, i had to stop. it would have been super easy to just keep drinking and have a grand ol' time with my friends, but i decided "you know, this is apart of growing up and being responsible" and i had to do just that.

what happens when i have this allergic reaction is that when I'm actually drinking the alcoholic beverage, my asthma starts to act up. my breathing becomes heavy and i have to use my inhaler. once i use my inhaler, everything is fine....for now.

the next morning...all hell breaks loose. i throw up all morning ( if i've been drinking more than a little) and i just feel like absolute shit all day. now i know what you all must be thinking...veronica, isn't this just a hangover....? grow up! well no. it is not. i've been hung over before and this is not it.

i also know this to be true because of last night. i had a few shots of the kahlua and i realized i was going to have a problem if i kept drinking.

being responsible sucks.

is back! and happy new year!

not only to blogger, but to OSU! i just came in yesterday, which was pretty interesting, in a good way.

i got here, expecting even though there was a fee, that people would still be showing up and moving in. WRONG. barely 20 of us were here in baker. it was really strange but it was no big deal....i had plans to just watch How I Met Your Mother all night, starting at like 10. but of course, when you make a plan, it never actually happens in college...i ended up staying up late and talking with a few friends that i haven't connected with in a while so that was awesome!

what i didn't miss about being here at OSU
1. having a normal bathroom. with a normal sink and normal toilet paper and normal hand drying towels...not crappy paper towels.....
2. being able to open as many drawers in your dresser or wardrobe as you want. here at school, you can only open 1 of your 3 at a time...it becomes very frustrating

so many reasons i know

though honestly i forgot how much this bed here is so comfortable. i love it :)

the downside of starting school so early is that i don't get to be home with my dad this tuesday. see he has Osteosarcoma, bone cancer, in his mouth...and FINALLY things are starting to move along. he got a little procedure a few days ago to get a port in his chest and inserted in his artery for the chemo meds, and he said that that's just super uncomfortable. tuesday, tomorrow, he starts chemo and i just wish i could be there and help see him through everything.

but anyway its a new year! yay!

NEW YEAR NEW YOU!!




...no thanks. i like me just how i am. yeah i made some mistakes in 2011, but just because its 2012 doesn't mean that I'm a whole new person and see the world in a new light. i was thinking about this yesterday, and i discussed it with my friend... but honestly why is new years even like a huge, momentous holiday? or a holiday for that matter? i mean yes were celebrating a huge time change and all that jazz...but i don't see why we build it up to be so much more than it is....a new month, and also a new year. why don't we celebrate every new month? you scream HAPPY NEW MONTH! every first of march or september...i mean the other months probably have feelings, just like january. but then i got thinking....the philosophical thinker that i am, why don't we always celebrate every day like that? i mean, hell, the world is supposedly ending this year... this could be everyones last year on earth!!!!** so if this is the end of the world, why not "live like you were dying"....cause we are. but honestly.....you almost should in a way....not super recklessly, like driving way too fast or doing crazy stuff, but living every day to the best you can, to never regret anything, to always leave someone on a good note, and to do what you LOVE. thats my new years resolution. to, as cheesy as it is, to do what i love, and love what i do. to be thankful for every day that I'm here and that you're here and that my family and friends are here with me.

thats all anyone can really ask for...right?



**i don't believe in this end of the world crap. it is what it is.