realization

on the band trip i took last weekend i made conversation with a "chaperone"...he graduated 5 years ago and is 22...so he was more of just a chill kinda of guy.


but i was talking to him in between performances that day just about high school and then college. i asked if hes friends with very many of his high school friends...and he said only two.


he went on to say that everyone in westlake is fake.


i said not everyone, and he replied that the majority is. 


i dont know if its just westlake, but i have a hunch that its high school.


i have many many friends, and i know a few of my close band and choir friends i'll keep in touch with. but also, some of my close friends, specifically band, i dont know if i want their friendship after high school.


i'v been crazy busy with this musical and my family has been going with a lot with members in and out of the hospital, and honestly, the one that should be there, the one that told me that he's a better friends cause "we've known each other since elementary school"...he should be there for me now. and my other friend, my best guy friend...hes not doing that much either.


now yes we have tons of fun together, and thats all hunky dorey, but everything thinks Veronica can just do everything by herself. Veronica doesnt need help with anything, she'll take care of herself. 


well ya know what, fine.


i dont know if im just writing this cause im upset, or if its actually true. all i know is that once i go to college, i wont be starting over.


yes i will be renueing myself. ill make new friends. friends that dont care what other people think of them. friends who can be crazy and loud, but also know how to be serious, and can help me when im down.


do i like my friends friendship now? yes. do i need it now? yes


do i need those friends after all this petty high school drama? no. nor do i want it.