it is nice to see you again!

 and this is how i've been spending my nights. till 1:30 in 

the morning i stay up and edit pictures, steal them off of all the

 hong kong kid's pages, and talk to them all night :) it is 1 in the afternoon 

over there. they are12 hours  ahead of us. going to Hong Kong would be the coolest thing ever.to edit my pictures i use picnik and i love it. i recently upgraded to the premium 

kind so now i can do everythang on the website. i luves it.

this heart tree makes me smile. a lot.

 joe is a character. he doesnt say too much, but just enough

to get you roaring with laughter. 

 andrew is my new best friend. he said that sometime

he will be visiting his aunt in New York City. he cant wait

to visit her and find out what NYC is all about. but he 

also asked that when he visits if he could stay with me

at my home for a bit. of course i said yes. my mom doesnt

know it yet, but some Asian might live with us for a week :) 

now this idea is quiet far fetched i know, but then again, this

might not happen for a year or so..and i could be at college

at the time, so she wont even have to know.

fire tower. so many memories. 

although i cant wait for next year, hoping to be a CIT or what-have-you, im not as mopey and sad about leaving camp as i was a few days ago. but i'm neither living in the pass nor looking off into the future. im living in the now. and right now, life is very good :)

pathetic

my lightning McQueen pillow even smells like camp. it may not be the most pleasant smell in the world....but it's home.

and also the fact that I'm in bedtrying to sleep at 10:15? what is this world coming to....

mohican

 i miss camp.

the people, the food, the smell, everything.

my mom asked me before i left if going to Mohican was like going home.and it is.

but leaving is way worse than leaving home. especially if its your last time.

its like leaving the love of your life.

the one and only thing that you know will always be there. 

i mean, iv been there for 7 years in a row, 8 times even. 

without out going to camp, i would not have been the person i am today. 

iv seen people grow up, develop relationships, some lasting, some not.

i miss camp....

especially the Hong Kong kids.

why i cant wait for college.

soo my life sucks right now. i had this HUMONGO post about the grad parties and how they related to my future at OSU...but my computer decided to be SUPER GAY and not work....i should have known...it wasnt saving drafts every .012 seconds.......so heres a very short recap.

bens party- got to talk to ben one on one for about an hour and catch up... so great to talk to an old friend like that...hopefully in college i can meet up with friends at like panera or something and get to catch up with them as well.

lauren smith's party- met this new kid named Ken. he was hilarious, 6' 2" and not too bad looking! haha. we talked about band for a while and marching band and when he was finally comfortable he whipped out a dead baby joke. hilariousness went on for an hour or so. when he had to leave to go home, we decided we MUST be come facebook friends, and facebook friends we have become. the best part was that while we were laughing it up, he didnt once say anything about my very weird laugh. and that was a first for me, and i thoroughly enjoyed it. i cant wait to get to know people in da college world and blah blah blah....it was more deep shit but im just tired now and yeahh...

the last 2 nights i havent slept well on account of the fact that its "that time" again...

YAY im not prego!!

anyway i wanted to write a long post about this nonsencicle things today cause im leaving for mohican tomorrow! yay!! but ill be back on friday...maybe ill write a post? i just dont knoww.
pictures will be posted on facebook...but hopefully ill put my favs up hurrr.

see ya next week!!

p.s. SO PROUD OF YOU ZAZU!! you got to see rafiki today!! you're soo lucky ;) oh yeah...coyc is pretty cool too i guesss.... :D :D

Taco Night!!!!

oh taco night...how i love thee so....

so last night....i was hanging out with aaron...making jell-o, watching mythbusters and i decided "ya know what tomorrows thursday...i should probably figure out when im gonna have another cello lesson with good ol' benji..." so i text him and noo text. WHAT A SURPRISE....not. so then i see i have a call from Ass Hat.

yes. i changed benji's name in my phone to ass hat. it has made myself text him practically never, except for when i need a lesson, and even then i look under B for his name.

so he calls....

hello? (me)

HEEEYYYYYYYY. (him)

whats up....

well i'm with Megan (zaphe) and we were wondering if you wanted to go get polar pops with us???

well....umm....im with aaron right now....

oh thats fine i just figured id...

(to aaron) ...do you want a polar pop?

                                                                      **between our conversation benji is still saying how he thought hed be nice and invite me...

(aaron) sure!

(to benji) sure you can come pick us up...aaron said he wanted one.

oh okay! well come get you then.

awesomeee....see you soon

BBBYYYYEEEEE

end conversation.

so there are two ways to take this conversation. 

1. that is so nice of benji to call me!! wow! he must be like, reading my mind or something and wanna be mah fweennddd. yay erthang is back to normal!

or 

2. he only called me cause he was with megan and they had nothing to be except awkwardly drive around together by themselves so they called me to make it less weird. 

whatever the case i believe its most likely the latter. after we got polar pops we drove around for a while, then dropped megan off cause she wanted to go home. now its me benji and aaron driving around......we finally decided to go watch a movie at benjis house and had to take 2 cars ( so aaron and i could get home) i decided to go with benji in his car...just to see if anything would happen or be said. 

he brought up the fact that we havent hung out in a while, or something along the lines like he hasnt seen me in forever...

REALLY BENJI??! AND WHOS FAULT IS THAT!?!?!??!

but of course, the calm, mature young woman that i am, all i said was yeahh i guess not...

but then i brought up well...there was this weekend....at relay for life (a drabbb by the way...) and at a grad party...and hes like "ohh yeahhh....i almost forgot...."soooo yeahh.....

and i brought up "well ya know...i have texted you a few times since then and stuff..." so he asked when and i was like umm...how about everytime im doing something that i think you wouldnt hate....

his excuse....well you text me when im busy.

..........

i guess i must be a super bread of human or something...cause usually if i get a text and i forget about it...i at least text that person back the next day saying "oh dear im so sorry about  last night" or something like that. so i said well it doesnt matter i just figured id text you.

i didnt bring up that it bothered me that he so easily and quickly "forgets" about me while texting. i didnt bring up that its on him that we havent hung out. i didnt bring up that he is for now permantly Ass Hat in my phone. and i didnt bring up any of this cause im a dope.

one on one, i was nice to him, sang along to songs, made polite conversation, and everything a good friend does. cause thats who i am i guess...and at some point he brought up that he was gonna make me a new cd but didnt know what songs i already had on it....so i stupidly said i could type up a list of songs that were on it. and at the end of the night, i gave him a hug, making him think all the awkwardness between us was all imaginary and we were fine. 

so here i am. i feel like a hypocrit cause even though i talk about how upset he makes me, i still do stuff like this, type up annoying lists for him, pretend like everythings fine, when really its not. 

this post is way too long for taco night. if your sick of hearing about this stupid pety benji drama....just say it. i know i am. 

alumni band is tonight. BARRFFFF.

omg youll never guess who called today errbody!!.....well see what comes of this night

new summer...new you?

i dont believe in creating a "new you" at the begining of the year. i can't remember a time when i've wanted to become a different person. i mean sure i've wanted to possibly act different in certain situations...possibly wanting to be more mature or more confident but never make a "new me". but so far this summer i feel like I've been trying a lot of new things all at once.

1. i finally have a bank account. we've been putting it off for months now but since i got scholarship money and i finally had a job with a real pay check, the time had come. that required being responsible and shit. nbd.
2. got a job. now i'v babysat in the past like any other 14 year old girl, so i gots me moneys. but on sunday i started my first day at work at a real job. sure its not like babysitting...i dont get cash right in my hand after every day of work like i do when i go down the street to babysit....but its still pretty good. plus i have a (ugly) uniform and everything .white keds, khaki shorts, name tag, blue hat, and, the kicker, a BRIGHT orange shirt. boo. but so far its pretty okay. i work at this concession stand at the country club down the street, and its been FUREAZING the last few days, so my first 2 days at work have been super easy.
3. cello! i've learned how to play the cello! kinda...but i finally had my first lesson and all's well. benji is teaching me and right now thats going okay. i have my doubts, but i'm giving it a try. its quiet obvious that i am much more excited than he. but that doesnt really matter right? i also am reserved somewhat for a reason that shall be discussed in a later number.
4. got a few hairs cut. i failed to write about my recent change in hair style....it is MUCH shorter. its like, at my shoulders now! i know all my friends have seen me with my shorter hair, but this is yet another thing to add to the list of changes in me.
5. a harsher reality. i've finally come to terms with the fact that friends grow apart, and as much as that sucks, there really is nothing you can do about it. it might make you really really really upset with someone, but getting made can't change things. it might also make you really sad when you talk about that person, so sad that you almost cry in public even if their name is brought up. but again, nothing you can say or do will change that. you just have to be thankful for the friendship that you had with that person, and thankful for what you've learned from that friend, and be thankful for all those other people that are fully involved in your life. you dont need one partiuclar friend to lean on all the time. yeah, we were great friends during a time in my life, and now we're just not. but the thing im thankful for is being the more mature one. i can honestly look back and not regret anything that i've done. i can't say "oh i wish i just texted them back that one time, maybe things would be different." or even "if only i called them back..." and "i should have been there for them." cause i was always readily available for that person, as i am always there for any one of my friends that need me. does it suck? yeah...i sucks ass. hard. but after putting so much effort into one relationship with one person, and getting nothing out of it...you have to ask yourself....is it worth it? i knew what the answer was going to be a long time ago, but never had the guts to say it. but finally i know that the answer, undoubtedly, is no. i can pussy foot around it all i want but in the end, if someone wants to be a part of your life, theyll make an effort to be in it. so dont bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesnt make an effort to stay. there comes a point in your life when you gotta just stop texting tht person, change their name in your phone to something completly unreasonable, and just give up. and thats what i've done. Giving up doesnt mean you're weak. sometimes....it just means your strong enought to let go...
6. on an extremly happier note.....im READING! an actual book! i'm reading "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. but this book is unlike any book i've ever read before. yes i've seen the movie...well most of the movie (i havent seen the first 15 minutes nor when she goes to Indonesia....but i've seen a good amount of it) so maybe that's why i'm intrigued by it. plus...i feel like Liz (yes, were on a first name basis) is talking right to me. she recently in the book dealt with a divorce and a serious breakup and is dealing with it, plus wanting to live her life the way she wants to. so she takes a year journey to Italy, India and Indonesia, 4 months in each. and im already about 90 pages in....which is a HUUUGGEEE deal for me considering i reallly dislike reading, a lot. but at work since there is nothing to do,as i have previously stated, i have been reading. i might even finish this book before the summer! fingers crossed!!

so far thats all the  "change" i have for right now. luckily Pretty Little Liars is back :) 

"no one can change a person. but someone can be a reason for a person to change"

-spongebob 

yeahhh....soooo

sooo im pretty excited....


im going to be learning how to play the cello today...like for realzz....


benji's coming over....gonna see if he'll be a good teacher...


i can play twinkle twinkle little star....noo big deal.


and umm...ill tell ya how it goess....soooo okay.

Colour My World

here just check it out....


Colour My World

i love the music.

"Explore your dreams, free your world."

There's a fine fine line...

good reasons to miss a family member's / very good friend's senior recital include

• breaking a bone
• on an 8th grade Washington D.C. field trip
• losing a limb
• meeting the Queen, scheduled in advanced
• studying for a huge test
• dealing with a flooded basement
• disgusting allergies that make you cough every 2 seconds

terrible reasons to miss a family member's/ very good friend's senior recital include

• coming down with "spring fever"
• being hungover from last night...when the recital is at 7pm
• watching a Jersey Shore marathon
• washing your hair
• playing basketball.
• "mixing up the day/time"
• sleeping
• i already know how you sing

if you think that playing basketball with a buddy that you planned on a week ago is more important than your "besties" recital.....i guess your not really besties at all are you